Five forgotten skill sets that contribute to student success

by Michael Grose

At a time when we hear a great deal about growth mindsets, good mental health habits and creating digitally savvy students, we can easily overlook the skill sets that form the building blocks of long-term school success. These are skill sets that are also easily forgotten when we narrow our focus onto numeracy, literacy, performing arts, STEM and other academic areas.

While all these other mental skills and academic areas are important, the skills I want to focus on here are ones that can be taught, or at the very least drawn out, alongside every other skill when we as parents and teachers know what to look for.

Following are five skill sets that contribute massively to overall student success and contentedness at school.

1. Friendship skills
   The ability to get along with others is hugely important for children and teenagers. Those students with a strong set of friendship skills are easy to like, easy to relate to and easy to play with. The skills they possess include knowing how to win and lose well, how to approach others to join in a group and how to lead rather than boss.
2. Organisational skills
   The ability to organise your time, your space, your items and other aspects of your life is a massive plus for any student. The best way to help children who are organisationally challenged is to introduce them to systems and processes to help them organise themselves. These processes include the use of visual reminders, anchoring (i.e. linking new behaviours to habitual behaviours) and the mapping out of activities.
3. Optimism skills
   It may seem strange to see optimism as skill set, but as leading psychologist Professor Martin Seligman discovered through his research, optimism can be taught. Seligman found that while some children are more inclined by nature to see a glass as half empty than half full, all children are capable of developing an optimistic explanatory style through exposure and direct teaching. The skills of optimism include being aware of self-talk, reframing negative events into positive events and the practice of perspective-taking.
4. Coping skills
   Kids will generally face a number of challenges during the course of their school lives including overcoming the disappointment of not being picked on a team, working their way through difficult learning situations and dealing with rejection. The impact of these challenges will depend on each kid’s own spirit, the support they receive and their coping skills. The good news is that coping skills can be taught or, at the very least, encouraged if adults know what to focus on. Coping strategies include parking problems for a while, normalising difficult situations and accepting and moving on. Some kids will use coping strategies quite naturally, while others need parental and teacher input to help them cope with even seemingly minor challenges.
5. Relaxation skills
   The ability to relax and get away from it all is vital for the maintenance of mental health, which in turn affects a student’s ability to perform. Many of today’s kids live with pressure. That pressure needs to be released through relaxation and play, otherwise it can lead to anxiety and other mental illnesses. The ability to relax and unwind is paramount to your child’s school success. Relaxation techniques include mindfulness and meditation, participating in hobbies and enjoying creative pursuits.

These skills are part developmental and part environmental. That is, kids will naturally develop many of them as they mature but the skills also need to be nurtured environmentally. They need to be recognised, encouraged, taught and modelled by adults who children and teenagers respect and admire. That makes parents and teachers ‘Very Important People’ in the process of acquiring them.

(Source: Parentingideas.com)

Lord, listen to my honest prayer.  You know my heart. I pray to you, O God, because you answer me; so turn to me and listen to my words.  Protect me as you would your very eyes; hide me in the shadow of your wings.  Amen

Dear Friends,

One of the best things about Catholic Schools and, in particular, Holy Trinity, is that we are inclusive and share our Catholic ethos of caring for all especially the poor and marginalised. We do this in many ways as recently shown in our commitment to Evaland Hekima, in Kenya. But what can we do here at home every day to continue to nurture an atmosphere of inclusivity?

To be inclusive we need strong empathy skills. Empathy skills can set children up for success in life. Parents, teachers, caregivers and even siblings can play a powerful role in helping one another achieve this success.

Empathy is a person’s ability to identify and feel others concerns or so to speak to put yourself in the other person’s shoes to better understand them.

In our school community by all working together to model empathy, we help our children to embody that we can create a culture and climate that validates all, excludes none. This can be modelled by offering a solutions-based perspective, instead of joining in or validating gossip and complaints shared in carparks or online about other students, families, teachers or other members in our community.

Here are also some other ideas for parents and carers can help to develop this important virtue in many ways.

~ Let your child/children know how please you feel when they behaviour in a kind and caring way.

~ Have conversations with your child/children helping them identify how someone is feeling and what they can do if that person is feeling sad or upset.

~ Acknowledge the positive difference they make when they complete acts of kindness.

~ Kindly remind people who may be putting others down what they are doing is not acceptable.

~ Take the opportunity to talk through situations that have caused your child/children to be unhappy. Acknowledge what has caused them to be unhappy but also help them to understand other perspectives on the situation.

~ Be sure to model empathy in your interactions with others as we know your child/ children observe you closely and learn from you as one of their main role model.

Recently when discussing the importance of empathy in a school community a fellow principal shared this story.

He was alarmed to have children appear at his office door to ask him could he come to their classroom as something terrible had happened and their teacher needed his help. The principal then ask what was the terrible thing that had happened. The children then proceed to tell him how one of their fellow students had bitten another student so hard that you could see bite marks. The principal went to the classroom to help support the teacher and both students that were involved in the incident.

Once both students’ needs were attended to, the principal sat in his office and dialed the phone number of the parent of the child who had been bitten. Thinking about what he was going to tell the parent, he himself acknowledging how he would feel if he got a call from his children’s school to say that one his children had been bitten.

As the principal explained to the parent what had happened he was little taken aback from the calm response by that parent. He was expecting that the parent would in no uncertain terms tell him how unhappy they were. That they would make demands about how the child should be disciplined and even demand that the child be excluded from the school. The parent said, “How as a fellow parent can I get angry. But for the grace of God it could be my child who was the biter and I would hope that the other parents would have acknowledge that my child is not bad but is just a little boy who is trying hard to manage life and situations that he finds difficult.”

The principal concluded what a powerful lesson he himself had learnt that day. Empathy is one of life’s most important skills. This I think is a lesson for all of us.

With every best wish for a holy and peace-filled week ahead with your beautiful families,

Philippa

Father's Day Stall

Please continue to bring in gifts for the Father's day stall. Gifts can be brought into the classroom and will be collected each day.

Father's Day Raffle

If there is a business that would be willing to donate something/voucher that we could raffle for our Father's Day Raffle, can you please contact Brigitta or Kristy. 

Next Week

Parish School Mass - Saturday 25th August. 

All families are invited to attend. This particular Mass is the presentation Mass for our First Eucharist Candidates. Supper will be provided after Mass as a gathering between Parish and School. Year 3/4 families are asked to bring something to share and these items can be placed in the Parish centre before Mass.

Important Term Dates

Saturday 25th August: First Eucharist Presentation and Parish Mass, 6pm

Thursday 13th September: First Eucharist Retreat day @ Holy Trinity

Saturday 15th September: First Eucharist Mass @ Holy Trinity, 6pm

First Reconciliation Registration commences: Week 10, Monday 24th September.

An annual satisfaction survey of parents, students and staff will be conducted on behalf of all Catholic schools in the Diocese this term. The surveys are designed to gather feedback from parents, staff and students about our school and will be used to inform school improvement. Responses are confidential and individuals can not be identified. 

The surveys will be launched via email on August 20 and close on August 31, 2018 using the email addresses supplied to the school. If you do not receive an email with a link to the survey on 20th August, please contact the school.

This week we have had a new electronic sign in system installed at the Front Office for all visitors and volunteers to use. 

If you are signing in a student, you will still need to manually fill out a sign in/out slip.

To make it easier for visitors to sign in, CE have created an App that translates your information into a QR Code called CECG Quick Sign In. 

You can make use of the following QR code to install the App:

Alternatively, you can do the installation via the App Store (for Apple) or the Google Play (for Android) by following these instructions:

Click on Search and type in CECG and then you select the CECG Quick Sign In.

To Sign In

1. Click on “Visitor Sign In”
2. Enter details or scan your QR code on your CECG Quick Sign App
3. Click on Sign In
4. Wait for your visitor sticker to print and stick on your shirt in a visible area.

To Sign Out

1. Click on “Visitor Sign Out”
2. Click in the search bar at the top of the pad
3. Type in your first name
4. Select your name from the list
5. Click on Sign out
6. Select ok
7. Please remember to sign out as in cases of emergency, this notifies us of who is on site at that point in time.

Parenting kids who want to be boss

by Michael Grose

If you are locked in a power struggle with a child or youngster, then you’ll be forever battling to get some cooperation unless you make some adjustments. The coercive approach won’t cut it as they’ll refuse outright, or just dawdle along on their own terms.

Any of these situations sound familiar?

You are trying to get a child to do something and they just won’t play your game. Your request for help is met with an excuse or, worse, an argument. Reminders about bedtime are met with a defiant, ‘NO!’ or worse – dawdling. “I’ll go to bed later,” is the response from some children. It’s infuriating!

Most families will have at least one child who insists on getting their way and doesn’t like to be told what to do. I call them ‘Make me’ kids because everything about their demeanour at times wants you to ‘Make them’ do what they’re told. These kids value power and don’t shy away from a fight.

Some kids refuse to cooperate when the tone and language of coercion is used. These kids value control and want autonomy, so you need to communicate in a way that doesn’t trigger their need to wrestle control from you.

Avoiding power struggles

Power struggles between parents and children are common. Often “Because I said so” becomes more important than the issue we are fighting or arguing over.

The key reason for this battle of wills between parents and difficult kids fundamentally comes from a desire for control. If you are locked in a power struggle with a child then you will forever be battling with them for cooperation unless you take a different track with them.

Forget the “Do this and do it now!” approach with these kids.

It may have cut it in the past and it may be effective with ‘Well-behaved’ kids, but it doesn’t cut it these days, particularly with kids who want to be the boss.

These kids refuse to cooperate when the tone and language of coercion is used. These kids value control and want autonomy, so you need to communicate in a way that doesn’t trigger their need to wrest control from you.

Such kids respond well to the language of cooperation, which involves giving them a choice, and is more about asking for help than demanding compliance. You don’t have to grovel, but you do need to watch your language with these little power-seekers and remember that cooperation is won, not demanded!

Taking a different approach

Here are some strategies that will increase the likelihood of getting cooperation from kids who like to be the ‘Boss’:

Don’t fight over every issue: Cut the little ‘Boss’ some slack and let them make some decisions themselves. If you want a say in every area of their lives then you’ll soon find yourself locked in power struggles over relatively inconsequential issues like clothing, bedroom tidiness and food. For instance, if a young child doesn’t want to wear a jumper in winter then so be it. There are bigger parenting fish to fry! I see parents exhaust themselves over minor battles so that when big issues come up, they just give in!

Tell them what you will do: Most of us tell kids what to do, which they promptly ignore. It’s far better to tell them what action YOU will take. This subtle shift in language has a huge impact in terms of getting some cooperation from ‘Make me’ kids. Next time you want to tell you child what to do, catch yourself. Instead, tell them what you are going to do. Here’s some examples: “I’ll serve ice cream when you are seated at the table.” "I’ll listen to you when you have calmed down.” “I’ll drive when you are quiet.” Get into the habit of focusing on what you will do, rather than on what they should do and you’ll start to see an shift in terms of getting cooperative behaviour almost immediately.

Let consequences work their magic: Of course, you need to stop nagging kids about their behaviours and allow them to experience the consequences of some of their poor choices. This removes you from the power struggle and lets experience be their teacher.

Power-hungry or bossy kids challenge parents who are authoritarian by nature, or who were raised in very authoritarian ways. These kids need smarter handling if we are going to get cooperation from them. They are often referred to as stubborn, disobedient, pig-headed and argumentative. The flip side is that they can be strong-willed, assertive and determined individuals.

Either way they can present difficulties to us as parents as we manage them on a day-to-day basis, particularly when they directly challenge us. But with a little change in parenting style, they can grow into wonderful kids who are confident in their abilities and comfortable making independent decisions.

(Source: ParentingIdeas.com.au)

Book Week Celebrations are fast approaching!!

The festivities will take place….

Wednesday, 22nd August (Week 5).

We will start the day at 9.10am with a Book Week Parade – come along if you’re brave enough, it’s a little crazy.

ELC to Year 6 are all encouraged to dress up. We will parade around the hall in our costumes and celebrate with much laughter and dance. If possible, please send along the book that relates to the outfit.  Remember the theme – books are a treasure.

We will then announce the Book Week 2018 winners. If you have a moment check out the CBCA website…. https://www.cbca.org.au/cbca-book-week

Every child who dresses up is ticked off to go into the class raffle. The prize for each class is a $15 voucher from the Term 4 Redgum catalogue. The winners will be announced after recess.

After the parade the children will then return to the classrooms to complete some fun activities all about Book Week.

Grade Book Week parties are being catered for by the Red and White classes. Children in Red and White classes please send in a small plate to share. The parties will happen at various times throughout the day to fit in with class happenings.

At 11.40am we have a visiting storyteller from the ACT Story Telling Guild to spend some time with the Kinder and Year 1 classes.

We will then finish the day sharing a well-loved children’s book together as a community. 

Big Fun for all.

Happy reading

Raffle tickets on sale soon!

Next week we’ll be officially launching our fete raffle tickets and announcing our AMAZING prizes!!! 

Next week – second hand teddy bear and stuffed animal collection week

Keep checking your fete donation timetable…next week it’s pre-loved soft toys and teddy bears (no hard plastic toys please). Send in your pre-loved teddy bear/stuffed animal (in good condition) for Lesley to jazz up for resale on fete day at our ‘’Adopt a bear’’ stall.

Drink collecting will be week 6 – start looking at what’s on sale when you do your weekly shop for cartons of soft drinks and water bottles.

Art and Craft Session 2 for Parents

Our 1^st get together was lots of fun & productive to boot!

You are welcome to join us over a glass of wine/cuppa at craft session #2 next Thursday, 23 August 7:30pm-9:30pm (Week 5) in the HT library.

Come and help us finish our limited edition reindeers and create mosaic coasters (find a word, cooking, rugby/football etc themed – note: tiles in pic not yet glued!) or bag, ribbon & price pre-made items.

No experience necessary just bring your enthusiasm and sense of humour!  All supplies and refreshments provided. 

Ideally please RSVP to Jo Hamilton on 0407 002 513 or johamilton2007@gmail.com; although you are welcome to just turn up on the night.

If you are keen to assist but can’t make these dates, please get in touch as we can give you a take home kit. Thanks for your support – it is really appreciated, Jo

Year 5/6 Student Fete Helping Forms
A HUGE thank you to all our year 5/6 students who have already returned their forms and are enthusiastically keen to help out with our fete. If your child (in years 5 and 6) would like to help and they haven’t returned a form, please send them back in ASAP.

       TERM 3, WEEK 5 - WED 22 AUG

Team Leader: Kim/Anthony Hoffmeier, Christine McCann, Stephen/Nicole Carberry, Vas/Lisa Cheriachan, Dale Lawrence

WEEK 5

Please note that due to the Walkathon tomorrow Friday 17 August, the Tuckshop will be closed for lunches and service. 

Please contact the Tuckshop at htpstuckshop@gmail.com if you have already placed an order for lunches.